Staying is a Gentle Practice

There is an entire chapter in my new book, Yoga Wise dedicated to the practice of Tapas - staying in the fire. Tapas invites us to remain trusting through challenging emotions and life events. When we practice Tapas, we bring truth to our experience, which results in transformation, not through force or over-exertion, but as a result of our gentleness and allowing.

Often we are taught that to accomplish anything, to complete a task, or to change ourself or a circumstance, we must force the change.

We have been taught to charge ahead at all costs, to abandon our own self care, and to run ourselves ragged until we reach the desired result. We demand so much of ourselves in any given situation - we demand smiles and happiness despite feeling grief. We demand results despite never being here before. We demand immediate relief in the face of hardship. 

I like to use the simple practice of meditation as an example - the very word "meditation" feels elusive and overwhelming to many. How do we meditate? What if we can't? The mind is so active, we can't sit still. So we give up.

But meditation is not something we force or control. Meditation is not rigid - meditation asks that we practice trusting and allowing. Meditation asks that we practice returning. When the mind wanders, we draw it back to the breath, not with force or berating, but with a gentle invitation to bring our attention back. As we watch the breath, we don't sit hyper-focused and glued to each inhale, thinking we know what we're doing. We loosely hold our gaze so we might recognize other ideas or feelings that are meant for our experience. We remember to allow and allow, in order to receive.

Life, like meditation, does not need to be forced in order to reach a destination. Life does not need to be controlled at the expense of ourself or others.

Every experience, whether it turns out good or bad, gives us more experience.

Sure, life gets grueling and uncomfortable. Sometimes we have tasks and experiences that seem so huge, we have no idea how we will ever get through them. This is the fire. This is the dedication of tapas - to stay when we want to run. To practice when we want to give up. To allow for sensations and feelings that arrive rather than forcing a result.  

Staying is not rigid or forced. Staying is gentle. Hold your life and all your experiences softly - and that's when everything becomes very powerful.