Music blasted from the portable speaker as I played a Pink playlist from my phone. I hovered a foot or so above the ground in Plank Pose. Arms straight, my shoulders lined up over my wrists, my legs extended long behind me, and I lowered my hips enough so they were even with my spine.

One Long Straight Excruciating line.

I shook. My core tightened and let go, and then tightened again. I imagined my abdominal muscles coming back together, and being sewn up with thread, which would narrow the 3-finger-sized space that was formed after 2 pregnancies. Today I wanted to push myself. I didn’t care about the shaking or sweating, or the tears that formed in my eyes, and soon leaked out and dropped on the carpet beneath my face.

I cinched my core together even more tightly, and held on. I relaxed my jaw and lowered my shoulders away from my ears, which had begun to hunch upward. I reached back through my heels, and out through my crown,

One Long Straight Excruciating line.

It was as if my body, my soul, and my sanity depended on this pose. If I could get through Plank, I would be ok. If I could get through Plank, I was strong enough. If I could get through Plank, maybe, like my abdominal wall, I could put myself back together.

Around this time, my life was falling apart. I was newly sober, and determined in my recovery, but still unsure and shaky. Nothing was natural. Every decision had to be run through a rational checklist process and vetted by my new toolkit and self-care routine. If you go to a party and there’s alcohol, make sure you have a way out. Bring tea everywhere you go in case you are offered a drink. If you think about drinking, call a supportive friend or your sponsor. If the craving feels really overwhelming, run around the block, or drop and start doing push ups. Get your adrenaline moving, get out of your mind. Like a wild bunny that shakes off fear and quietly hops away, breathe, shake, remember WHO YOU ARE, and the craving will pass.

I had lots of strategies because the beginning was so hard. I screwed up staying sober many times. My path was not perfect. But through all the falls and setbacks, my grit and determination did not waver. I knew I wanted a sober life, a recovered life, and a life full of presence without addiction or numbing. I wanted to live my most authentic life, and for me, that means without alcohol, and with an acceptance of all my emotions.

Plank might be the most profound and effective pose in Yoga. Seriously! The pose has taught me so much about my body, my mind, and life itself, it’s almost crazy. Not only does Plank Pose give you the most benefit to your core, your point of strength, and yes, your defined abdominal muscles, a regular Plank practice will bring deep insight into what goes on in your mind when you’re up against a wall. Do you stay, and adjust? Do you lie down, and give up? Do you blame or yell at yourself?

Or, do you find out what you’re capable of?

Plank Pose has taught me that my body can change, which means I can change. Plank Pose has in fact brought the gap in my abdominals back together, which I thought was impossible after having children. Plank Pose has given me the strong core I never had - even when I was young and in my 20s, my strong center wasn’t there because nothing had yet come apart. Life was basically easy and always repairable. I didn’t understand true grit, true strength, and true resilience until I went through some dark and fallen times.

I came apart in order to come back together. And yoga is a practice that honors the come-back. If you’re weak, yoga will make you strong. If you’re confused, yoga will bring you clarity. If you’re lost, yoga will lead you to self-discovery. If you’re closed off and in pain, yoga will make you willing and open.

I made a short demo video on how to add Plank to a yoga or exercise routine, to fire up your core, and awaken your mind. Take a few minutes a day, morning or night, to practice Plank, and see how the quick progress increases your faith and self-confidence. We lead from our core - our indestructible center is what grounds us when we feel like we are spiraling out of control. A few minutes of Plank variations a day will make you a stronger, more resilient YOU!