Have you ever felt forgotten and overlooked, like you just don't "fit in" or belong?

Have you ever felt like everyone else has it all together and you don't?

Or like you must be missing something?

Everyone has self-doubt. Everyone has these stories about themselves. We all believe we are the only ones who fear our own capacity, but in fact, it is very human to wonder if we are enough. And it feels very safe to stay small, to let your ego voice rule and control you by keeping you in the story of "not enough" - not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, enough...

It is very easy to forget why we are here - or, to believe there is no reason to be here at all.

Newly divorced, newly sober, newly navigating single life for the first time in 15 years, and raising two boys, I  practically screamed at my therapist one day - "Can someone just give me a letter, and tell me what to do, and I'll do it - I promise."

I desperately wanted to know what to do. I firmly believed that I kept screwing up, getting it wrong, and missing the whole big point of life. I must be missing something, or my life wouldn't look like this, would it? 

My therapist smiled, maybe smirked, and answered, "The only one who can tell you what to do, is you. AND, you have to do the work to get there."

Darn, I wanted out of the fire. I wanted an easy solution. I also wanted a guarantee. I wanted to never feel the pain of betrayal from a relationship again. I wanted to never feel the shame-filled desperation of another relapse. I wanted everyone to look at me like I was doing great, not with a sympathetic smile like I was a complete mess. I wanted to safe-guard myself from pain, and in doing so, I wanted to safe-guard myself from the lessons that come from each eye-opening, painful experience we encounter.

Your heart aches and leaps because it is trying to tell you something. 

There is a purpose to every single life. In yoga our purpose is called Dharma, and I believe that the search for our Dharma is just as important as the discovery of what it is. It takes so much trial and error to learn our lessons, to understand our strength, to learn, to grow, and to trust ourselves. A few years ago I didn't trust myself at all, and now I am my best resource. We must walk the path in order to arrive, and to gain the confidence in ourselves in order to own why we are here.

Everyone has self-doubt. When my therapist answered me that day, I already knew the answer - I just didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to ask for help, lean on people, open myself up, uncover my secrets, admit my flaws, or try anything new. I wanted my husband to take care of me. I wanted to not be an alcoholic. I wanted my life to be the way I had pictured it when I was a little girl. But that wasn't my life; that wasn't my Dharma, and that fantasy image I had in my head is not why I am here. 

I am here to walk this path, and so are you. Trying to be anything different, is not believing in why you are here, and therefore, not believing in yourself. You are meant to be here as much as everyone else.

Time to own it.