So many areas of life teach us that in order to succeed, or in order to be happy, we need to abandon ourself. 

It starts young. We're given sweets or food when we cry. We're taught to stay quiet and polite. We're expected to dress nicely. We follow the rules because following the rules leads to approval, and even reward. We get the recognition. We get the job. We win over the date. 

Pretty soon, our collection of rewards - the people, possessions, and lifestyle that was meant to make us happy - sit untouched. Our hopeful collection collects dust, and we turn to something new. What happened?

Whether or not our life fulfills us depends on our choice in all of it. Did we take care of ourself along the way, acknowledging how we felt and making decisions based on our heart's longing, or did we leave ourself, over and over, for the sake of someone else? 

Out of a need for approval, or acceptance, did we pursue someone else's longings instead of our own? Did we mistake our sense of belonging for what someone else wanted from us instead of what WE wanted from ourself?

We all want to belong. And we falsely think if we are like everyone else, if we do what they do, then we will belong. 

We mistake belonging for fitting-in and sameness. 

Actually, the only way to feel as if we belong is to answer the call of our own heart. Our heart already knows what will fulfill us, and our task is to listen. 

Like most people, self-care escaped me for a long time. And I don't necessarily mean pampering like getting a massage or going on a trip (although, these count). I'm referring to self-care as a practice of honoring who we are - from what we eat, to what we do for fun, to who we surround ourself with, to the career we choose, to what we do with our body, to how we worship and what we believe. 

To practice self-care, after a lifetime of being taught to abandon who we are for the sake of others, is to walk a spiritual path. We slowly learn that we matter. 

We slowly learn that every answer we seek already lives inside of us and not inside someone else. We slowly learn that to belong is to be who we are. We slowly accept that by being who we are, we will excel in everything we do. We will discover our purpose, our longing, and our deepest desires. We will live fulfilled because we will realize that we don't need people, places or things to complete us. We can have these things, out of joy, passion, and happiness, but they will not affect our identity.

What have you done lately to honor who you are? How have you answered an inner longing, big or small? Are you listening, not for the sake of others, but for yourself? Try to practice not putting yourself off anymore - this is the ultimate self-care.