We make decisions that are best for the moment, maybe for emotional reasons, practical reasons, or simply because we are reacting to a situation as we see it that day. Any door closed, any decision made, can be opened again, by us, in a future moment.

Decisions are not black and white. Despite the cliche, nothing is really, "now or never". There is always enough time. There is always a new choice.

Part of the overwhelm we feel when making a decision is the belief that it has to be final, or forever. What if we made decisions with an understanding that we always have the power to change, to shift, or to grow with the times? What if we gave ourselves permission to change our mind, without looking back at the original choice as a failure, or a bad decision?

Often life makes decisions for us, or at least nudges us in a direction we might not have considered. An illness, the loss of a job, a pandemic, or an unexpected event forces our hand. In the moment, we do the best we can with the information and the circumstance in front of us. We are not wrong; we are discerning.

Decisions are good - they mean we are moving forward. But decisions are not necessarily final, never to be looked at or considered again. Life continually changes - people change, jobs change, situations change, WE change. So our decisions must change as well.

When I got sober, I had to make many tough choices. My recovery had to come first, and everything else took a back seat for the time being. I attempted to rid myself and my life of all things that caused undo stress. I simplified. I let things go. Life and my addiction forced me to focus on myself. At the same time, I was also getting divorced. I had to relearn my life as a single person, without a spouse, and this took time and practice.

I didn't understand at the time that my recovery or my single parenthood would get easier. Neither would require so much of my attention as I got the hang of things. I learned to mow the lawn. I learned how to spend weekends alone. I learned about myself. Slowly, over the years, I have been able to create a fuller existence. I can be a mom, I can work, I can start businesses and follow dreams. I can go out with friends and begin new relationships. I can live the life I want, while still taking care of myself, and it doesn't feel foreign or overwhelming.

Difficult decisions had to be made for the moment at hand. As my strength grows, and I am more settled, I can now give myself permission to revisit any of those choices. I can reopen doors that I long ago closed. I can make new decisions, based on who I am today.

Quitting a job does not mean you can never go back. Ending a hobby does not mean you can't pick it back up. Moving to a new city does not mean you can never come home. These decisions were not wrong. Life is not meant to be a straight line, filled with perfect choices and perfect outcomes. We are human, and meant to grow as we go.

Some doors are meant to stay closed. Some might ask you to reconsider. Trust that you'll know the difference.