I held on to the fantasy for so long. I longed for the perfect person, family, career, and outside world to make me feel whole, complete, and fulfilled. If I worked hard and got all the pieces right, I wouldn't have to worry about looking within to find happiness or strength. My outer experience would reflect inward, and I would be happy.

Outer experience does not necessarily reflect inner contentment. In fact, feeling complete inside, and acting from a place of wholeness and assertiveness, allows everything on the outside to fall into place. And the falling into place for YOU might not look like falling into place for someone else.

I easily get pulled back into the fantasy - when my relationships, family, or pursuits don't appear like everyone else's, I wonder if I am on the right path. Maybe it would be easier to do what everyone else does, to look like everyone else looks, and to find happiness that way - from the outside, in.

There is a truth within each of us and it doesn't need to look like anything.

Living from our own place of truth means we get to design every piece of our life exactly as we want, without needing to compare our outsides with anyone else's. My life looks kind of messy. Divorce. Kids. Writing. Yoga. There is a complexity to my world that often feels harder than someone else's. When life feels challenging, it's important that I remember it's not because my life is wrong or bad, it's because life is challenging for everyone. Things don't go as planned or outcomes don't manifest. We travel one direction and realize we want to go another way. We think we are traveling the right direction and learn we need to adjust our sails.

The appearance doesn't matter. Challenges are part of growing and finding our way.

Instead of focusing on what you think someone or something should look like, focus on how something makes you feel. When do you feel most like yourself? When does your heart get involved with projects or passions? Who are you with when you feel calm and at ease? Who can you be yourself around, and how does that feel different than trying to constantly prove your worth or simply fit in?

When I worry too much about what others think, I make terrible choices. That's because my choices are based on others' opinions instead of my own heart. Pleasing others by how my life looks on the outside is like getting dressed up for a party and working the room. It can be fun, and fine for the moment, but you never really know what's happening on the inside, how much is real and how much is for show.

The people I love and choose to spend time with are those who allow me to be myself. Interestingly, the most meaningful relationships I have are those I did not expect. Friendships and relationships that came to me at the right time, when I wasn't looking, to give me what I needed. Had I been focused on my own expectations, or what someone else would think, I may not have cultivated those relationships. I'm so glad I did - and I do.

If my life looks messy, I'm ok with it. Because inside, the ways I feel true to who I am, is all that matters.

Your life reflects your ability to trust yourself. We know who makes us feel good. We know what brings us joy. Trust all of it. And know that your world is yours, not someone else's.