Part of moving on from my marriage has been learning to be independent - financially, emotionally, as a parent, and as a home owner. I have learned that I am my own rescuer, not someone else. Relying on people is good, but not at the expense of disregarding our own capabilities and worth. I am no different on my own than I was when I was married - I only believed the illusion that life was easier and safer with a partner.
Read MoreI wanted to write a hero story about my one year sobriety anniversary, a story about all the presence I’ve experienced with my children. About the peace and patience that have found permanent spots in my body. About behaviors that used to be wildly foreign and uncomfortable, like saying no, sitting still, and honoring myself. These behaviors have become more familiar.
I wanted to write about healing by unearthing pain from my body, and letting it go, but that makes the journey sound too transcendent. In reality, days have been hard, and often grueling. They require discipline and self-care.
There is no coping mechanism for being jarred awake in life.
Read MoreEmbarking on a quest brings tail wagging excitement upon anticipation. Images scroll through your mind, and you of course create a rendition of the final product – the photo snapped when you finally reach the mountain’s peak. But in the middle of the process, as you are climbing, thirsty, and with aching muscles, your mind forgets the initial euphoria and you wonder if all of it was a dream, or worse, a crazy, futile aspiration.
Read MoreThe greatest lesson I’ve learned in life is that my path is not my plan. I can’t hold onto anything. Nothing is mine – not even my own boys. I get to guide them, teach them, and observe them in awe, but the path God has set for them is not up to me. I am a witness to their journey, and hopefully I can honor that position.
Read MoreWhen change is necessary, we will feel rocked, shaken, uncomfortable and unready – actually, probably very unready. We want to hide – and there are oh-so-many great hiding places – anger, isolation, addiction, self-righteousness, pain, illness, rumination, gossip, lashing out on social media, blame, and of course, self-loathing. Anything to avoid the unbearable squeeze of change looming, and the knowledge that it is up to us to do something about it if we want to stop feeling this way.
Read MoreWhen your heart opens, you fall in love. For your heart to open, you must be vulnerable. To be vulnerable, you must be willing to leave the safety of illusion and only see truth, no matter how shaky or painful.
Read MoreWhat if you found out your worst nightmare is a figment of your imagination?
Read MoreIt is Saturday, so my husband Nick stays home with the boys while I go to yoga class.
Read MoreRaindrops sprinkled onto the windows and matted down the freshly cut grass. I had just mowed the lawn the day before – the second time.
Read MoreMy second son Andrew was a few days home from the hospital and my milk still hadn’t come in.
Read MoreThe man at the tree lot this year helped us tie our Christmas tree to the top of the car.
Read MoreSome of us were born with a wild heart – a heart that wants to remain open, despite any risk of being discovered and damaged.
Read MoreThere is a myth I’d like to share with you (coincidentally on Halloween) called “The Skeleton Woman”.
Read MoreI was 9, sitting on the hill across the road from my Grandmother’s house.
Read MoreYesterday, I sat down to do a guided meditation on releasing our fears to the Universe.
Read MoreYou did not die. You were here the whole time. And so was he.
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