“Searching for your purpose in the external tends to be a fruitless journey. What is keeping you stuck is that you are looking for answers on the outside, rather than recognizing what your inner guide is telling you.” Rachel Vasallo, Mind Body Green

When I was in 6th grade my parents sat us down for a family talk - me, my sister, and my brother. I assumed they were going to tell us they were getting divorced. What else would it be?? But my parents are still married today - they just celebrated 40 years!

The talk was about moving to a new town. My dad quit his job and bought a business, and we needed to downsize. The choice was to stay where we were, in Illinois, or move up to our summer home in Wisconsin permanently. We couldn't keep both homes, so we had to choose.

My dad told us not to answer right away. He wanted us to make a list, and we would meet back here, on the living room couch, in exactly one week. We were to make two columns, Pros to moving and Pros to staying.

My siblings and I nodded that we understood. Then we took the yellow sheets of paper my parents handed to us and walked back downstairs to our bedrooms. "Did anyone else think they were getting divorced?" My sister whispered to me and my brother. I rolled my eyes at her and lied, "Of course not."

My yellow sheet of paper stayed on my dresser for the entire next week. About an hour before we were supposed to reconvene, I located it under a stack of homework and discarded clothes. I sat on my bed and drew a line down the center. On the left, I jotted a few reasons to stay - my own bedroom, my friends, my school... On the right, I thought of some pros to moving - the lake, the trees, my summer friends, walking to get ice cream...

The thing is, I didn't need the list. None of us did. I completed the exercise and brought my sheet of paper upstairs to the meeting, but the week before, as soon as my dad mentioned whether or not we wanted to give up summers in Wisconsin, my gut answered for me. All I had to do was bow my head towards my heart and listen. Logically, to a 6th grader, it probably made more sense to stay - I had a stable life and friends. Changing schools and starting over in Junior High sounded like a nightmare. I finally had my own bedroom! When we moved to Wisconsin, I'd have to share with my sister again. But the answer was clear and my feeling was strong - my vote was Wisconsin. I had no idea how it would turn out, but I knew it was the next right step.

We forgo our instincts in the name of logic. We are unsettled in our job, but afraid to make a change. We don't want to take the next step until we have more pieces in place, just to be sure. We don't want to be wrong. Our heart screams at us in the form of frustration, impatience, or unhappiness, and we still tell ourselves we need more time. We are not ready to commit to a choice because it's too scary when we don't know the full picture. So we delay any movement at all. We stand still. We crave something we can explain to others. We don’t feel comfortable or wise saying, "My heart made me do it."

But why not?

The first step is often clear, even if it's not logical. But just because we can't see every single next step, every single miracle, every single guiding hand that will open up to us on our journey, doesn't mean our initial instinct is wrong. Your heart and soul nudge you to make the first move, and more about when, where, and how reveal themselves along the way.

As a 6th grader, the pros to moving that I put on my list were a tiny glimpse of the full picture. There's no way I could have understood or anticipated just how correct that decision was. That's the beauty of following your instinct. Each time you trust yourself, the Universe answers back, in ways you never would have been able to predict. Trust yourself. Trust yourself so much that you can actually, and with great confidence say, "My heart made me do it."

“My heart made me do it!”