The World Can Handle Who You Really Are
Know Thyself.
Plato
To "Know thyself" is the one thing we can do in this lifetime to free ourselves from every single crutch, pain story, bad habit, and unhealthy cycle. The problem is, to know thyself is not so simple. It might take an entire lifetime just to figure out. And, even if we do know ourself, we might be too afraid to ever reveal who that person is. We might even be in denial. And this denial, the inability to know and accept who we are, will always cause us pain.
Children seem to know themselves more easily than adults. Or maybe they just feel more permission to express whatever comes up and out of their bodies. But pretty quickly in life, children seek approval, from parents, caregivers, teachers, and friends, and they slowly learn to add layers to who they are.
The covering starts, and we seldom recover.
Recovering our true self might look like recovering from an illness, an addiction, or a relationship. Recovering our true self might look like failure, pain, and messiness until we get to the center.
Don't be deceived, if you are on a journey to uncover your pain, if you are actively seeking a new lifestyle, a new perspective, or a new way of talking to yourself, the journey will look a lot like falling down and trying to get back up. The journey will look like you can't get it right - until you do. Removing layers of self doubt, self criticism, and self hatred takes a lot of practice. We've been so conditioned to play the role and not let anyone see our true nature that we are bound to feel and look uncomfortable along the way.
But once we recover the motive, the thing that drives us to do all we do, we can see this core belief at the center of many of our decisions, maybe even at the center of everything. Which means, we can change everything about our life with one significant insight about who we are.
It's possible you hold a core belief that people need to like you. Or, a core belief that you are not enough. Or, a core belief that money equals success. Or, a core belief that mistakes are not an option.
We can change everything about ouR life with one significant insight about who we are.
These unhealthy yet very common beliefs find their way into everything we do - our parenting, our eating, our relationships, and our careers. The beliefs, even though false, drive the proverbial bus. We think we are in control, but if we rely on societal pressures or old childhood pain stories to dictate our behaviors and reactions, we are not necessarily acting in our own truth.
To dig underneath a lot of my unhealthy habits, I had to search for the story they allowed me to keep telling myself. If I never felt capable without a relationship, then I would always need a relationship to save me. If I never accepted that I might be angry, I would unconsciously stuff my anger down whenever it arose. If I never felt like enough, then I would find unhealthy ways to control my outer appearance.
Although I said I can't match Plato's sage words, I can add to them. The world can handle who you really are.
It's true - we're so afraid to show up as ourselves we even lie to our own self about who we are. It's the biggest travesty in existence because every one of us has something to give to this world, to our children, to our jobs, and to our partners, just exactly as we are. And not when we learn the new thing,or get the degree, or lose the weight, or heal past the whatever - but right now, and exactly as we are.