Follow Your Heart

One of the phrases I kept hearing over and over in yoga classes was this:

Lead with your heart.

While folding forward, keep your chest open and reaching. While in Triangle Pose, turn your heart towards the sky, rather than let it drop down. In a twist, pull your heart open, instead of letting it close. On an inhale, notice your chest expand and lift, opening and filling the space around your heart.

The image of my heart leading my body, or directing my life choices, has always intrigued me. Often it has felt like a fantasy or delusion - to think I can simply "follow my heart" and be directed to the right next thing.

Phrases like, "silly girl" and "get your head our of the clouds" have followed me my entire life. They often take hold, and sink their harsh talons into my skin and my cells. So when it appears my heart has led me astray, I berate myself, and promise to rely on rational thinking, practical solutions, and not my overly-optimistic heart for answers.

I've learned there's much more to following our hearts than adopting a fantastical, sunshine-y outlook. Following our heart doesn't mean everything looks pretty. Following our heart means making difficult, often painful choices. Following our heart looks like ending a relationship, setting a firm boundary, telling someone how we feel, telling someone good-bye, or moving forward through fear and self-doubt.

Following our heart can mean loss, heartache, vulnerability, courage, and risk.But, following our heart will always lead us down the path to our own peace and contentment. Following our heart will lead us to love - love for ourself, or for someone else. Following our heart will lead us to our true purpose, whether it's a career, passion, or deep healing. Our heart does not, in fact, lead us astray. Our heart knows what is best for us, whether we choose to listen or not.

I always thought praying had to happen to something or someone outside myself - let's call it "God". I've learned that my own heart is my lifeline and connection to the divine. My heart somehow knows exactly what I need, even when I don't want to hear it. My heart yearns to be acknowledged. My own self-abandonment has caused much more heartbreak than what anyone else has ever done to me.

So what does it look like? To follow your heart?

First, place a hand there. It might feel tender and uncomfortable to do so. Literally feeling your own heart is like acknowledging yourself for the first time. We are conditioned so well that we do not matter. We are conditioned so well to suck it up, ignore ourselves, and wear a smile. If your heart is broken, admit it. If your heart is overjoyed, celebrate. If your heart is confused, ask what it needs.

Asking your own heart is like asking the divine for help. After a lifetime of relying on facts and logic, it's difficult to trust our own intuition and feelings. With practice, you get better at it. With practice, you learn that everything you need, has been right there inside you, all along.