When we Heal Ourselves, We Heal the World

Seeing clearly means experiencing reality, not necessarily what is pleasant. Deep in my addiction days, I was delusional. Not only about my addiction, but about everyone and even the world around me. Like most addicts, I feared pain. I would make myself believe anything just to remain happy, optimistic, and pleasant. I kept uncomfortable realities at a distance, not having any interest in the larger problems of society. I certainly did not want to look at my part in all of it.

The truth of our world is heartbreaking. The human experience is one of violence, abuse, poverty, and suffering. Of course, there is also joy, compassion, kindness, selflessness, and deep love. All of these experiences exist, in some form, in each of our lives. But there is no escape from pain.

Pretending pain does not exist, or numbing the pain out, is a way of abandoning ourself as well as all of those in suffering.

When we get healthier, there are times when the reality is crushing. I've had friendships and relationships change or completely end because I decided to set boundaries, or I realized they were not good for me. Each time I asked myself, how did I not see this before?

I couldn't see it because I didn't want to. I wanted to believe someone's good intentions. I feared break-ups and I feared people not liking me. I feared being alone. My mantra was, "Stay pleasant. Keep smiling. And everything will be ok."

As a person in recovery, my work is not only about giving up a substance, but also about learning beliefs and behaviors that make me a better, healthier person. The best gift I have received since getting sober is the ability to be compassionate. Feeling compassion isn't always comfortable. Seeing clearly allows me to see the good, the terrible, and everything in between. This clarity gives me deeper appreciation for the good things in my life, and genuine compassion for those in pain.

My delusion only kept me at one set point - how can I make ME feel ok right now? I'd make myself ok by believing a lie, taking a drink, or staying in denial. I ignored myself and others. My delusion kept me in constant drama, because my overly-hopeful beliefs did not match the reality of what I was experiencing. I was in a constant state of questioning, and soon, this questioning led me to not be able to trust myself.

My own self-betrayal was the final damage I did to myself as an alcoholic.

For every sad story we see on the news, there are multiple sides, endless angles, and at the core, many people in pain.

People in pain hurt other people.

What do we do with all the love, abundance, and appreciation we have in our lives, while we simultaneously know there are people around us who are sad, without, lonely, addicted, grieving, and in pain? How do we allow ourselves to experience the whole mess of emotions?

It's overwhelming to think about changing the world. It's overwhelming to think about changing one single person.

Guess what's not overwhelming? Changing yourself. Healing yourself. Looking at yourself.

When we heal ourselves we heal the world.

I truly believe if everyone had an honest look at their pain, their past, their motives, and their beliefs, we would be living in a different reality.

Healing yourself ripples out into every relationship you have. Your healing even affects strangers and every random interaction. Healing means we have no agenda - if the problem is us, we look at it. If the problem is someone else, we handle it. Healing means we don't use our past hurts as an excuse to hurt others. Healing means we learn the benefits of compassion, towards ourselves and others.

My Kripalu yoga teacher, Yoganand Michael Carrol, said, "If not for our individual experiences, we are all the same."

Healing means unburdening ourselves from our individual experiences, so that we stop hurting others as a result. If we all saw more clearly, the world would be a different place.