Culmination
A culmination means something is attained, something is lost, and something awaits.
Culmination brings everything to a peak, maybe in the form of a goal being reached, or a life stage completing. These moments of extreme pointedness, when we can clearly see the end of something that was, and the start of something new, unsettle us. Our awareness of life and death, of endings and beginnings, is not necessarily comfortable.
An example might be shedding physical weight from the body. A person who experiences significant weight loss, or physical body changes, often feels a sense of loss for their former self. Despite wanting to lose weight, the body that identified them for so long is no longer here. Hence, grief shows up along with joy, pride, and accomplishment.
Emotional sheddings are similar. Letting go of unhealthy beliefs and habits is like death. We can fight for something for so long, whether it's recovering from an illness, battling an addiction, or working towards a life goal, that our very identity becomes tied to the process.
Pretty soon, we are defined by the illness, by the recovery, or by the project.
Then, when we do reach our goal, it feels oddly unfamiliar. We are used to working towards the outcome, not being here, at the end, the receiver. Cancer patients describe a new identity once they recover. Addicts experience a letting go of lifestyle and their sense of self. New parents navigate the loss of their former self before children.
These endings surprise us and therefore deserve our attention. Do we allow ourselves to feel and grieve the loss, whatever it is? Can we admit that joy, sadness, fear, and excitement all exist at the peak, the culmination?
Monumental endings as well as beginnings aren't the only times in life we experience a range of emotions that might not match our expectations for the moment. Like postpartum depression, we can experience sadness in the midst of a joyous occasion. We can feel the pain of loss at the start of something new.
The best thing about any culmination is that it brings a profound opportunity to exist between our own mind and the infinite world that awaits us.
We don't know what parenthood will look like until we bring a child home, and then do it. We don't know who we will be once a goal is reached, until we walk forward each day with the new accomplishment. We don't know exactly how we will feel once we are 20 pounds lighter.
What I can promise you is this - you are ready. You have put in the effort. You have lived through the pain. You have carried the burden. You have learned from the past. You have walked forward everyday, and all of it has led you here.
What's next for you...?
