How to Release Expectation
I wonder how I would think differently of myself if I had no expectations? No expectations of how I should look, how I should feel, what I should be, or who I should be with?
What if I stopped worrying about the expectations others have for me? (Or, I think they have for me.)
The problem with our expectations is they rarely live up to what we imagine. Whether they are our own, society's, or someone else's, we hardly ever meet them. It took my life falling apart for me to understand that the expectations I held onto were also the cage I kept myself in. I tried for so long to keep propping things up and pasting things back together - my marriage, my addiction, my inner feelings and desires. I felt if I just kept the image of meeting the expectation going, then I would feel better. And no one would think I had failed.
The expectation becomes our never-ending chase, and our constant struggle.
In the process, we miss out on other opportunities and possibilities, ones that might be much better for us, because we are so narrowly focused on living up to our version of the expectation.
We stay too long, in relationships, jobs, and unhealthy habits, because we are too afraid of what life will look like if we let go. We stay in self-hatred and regret. We will do anything in order to not admit defeat. All the while, we are unnecessarily suffering.
When I woke up divorced, sober, happy, peaceful, inspired, trusting, hopeful... I thought about how much all my expectations had nagged at me. I thought about how heavy they had been and how freeing it felt to let them go. I thought about the problems my expectations had caused and how they made me treat myself so badly - made me think of myself so terribly.
I had expectations of how my life should look - and a lot of it never happened, at least not the way I had pictured. The Universe tends to focus on the bigger picture for us - the life that will meet our deepest desires and bring out our best self.
My life looks completely different than I would have pictured. But I wouldn't want it any other way. My entire life, the culmination, has led me here, so what's not to be grateful for? Every single wonderful, painful, life-shattering, soul-searching, heartbreaking, thrilling, loving, miraculous thing that has ever happened to me has led me here.
And all my expectations only served to keep me suffering more than I had to. In addition to any emotional turmoil already going on, my fear of not meeting the expectation created further inner turmoil.
What would it look like for you to release expectations? Maybe just one? Which expectation is heaviest? Which one is not serving you?
