Everything a Season

Life is constantly in motion, everything temporary and everything adjustable. As the days grow shorter and darker, I fall more into old habits of isolating, saying no, and staying in. Usually I force myself out, knowing that despite the darkness outside, it's healthy for me to get out and socialize.

Covid this year makes it much more difficult to rely on gatherings, restaurants, and other people for entertainment and for self-care. The grey, dark sky that arrives around 4pm makes my body and my brain sleepy. It's hard enough to combat the stress and seasonal depression that can come with the shorter days of Winter, but this year seems like it might bring a new set of challenges.

For me, Winter has always been a difficult time of year exactly for these reasons. I don't get enough sunlight. I don't spend enough time outside. Like the dark weather, my body goes into a more still, more quiet time.

It would be nice to embrace the pause.

Accepting that this is a less active, more contemplative time for me helps. But what also helps is to use my rational mind a little more and discern what's best for me in a given moment - even if it might not feel natural. If you are veering towards depression, it's important to use some logic, and try to steer away from the the intense desire to add to the depressing sensations.

When the days are shorter and darker, we can force ourselves outside of our comfort zones - and outside the house. We can make healthy choices, even when we resist anything good for us. Everything feels harder right now - which means choosing something healthy is very necessary. Coming to my yoga mat, doing any form of exercise, going for a walk outside, taking the time to make and enjoy a meal, calling a good friend... all of these feel much more difficult when it's black at 5pm.

A little bit of healthy activity goes a long way. I don't ignore the fact that I get more depressed this time of year. I don't dismiss my tendency or tell myself I "shouldn't" feel this way. As yoga teaches us, I observe myself where I am. I accept that I am a little slower, a little sadder, and a little more reflective. I know I am at the beginning of the season of stillness. I know I will face challenging and difficult days. I know it will be dark and cold. I also know there will be sunshine, and holiday parties, and days that I practice self-care, which means I will feel better and in control.

I know I will not always be in this season. But for now, I can acknowledge my emotions as well as the challenges in order to help myself through it.