My Life is My Choice

Look around. The people, places, items, and emotions that surround you have all been welcomed in by you. Maybe there are parts of your life you like, and parts you don't. Maybe there are pieces of your life that feel like obligations or necessities. Maybe they don't feel like a choice.

To acknowledge your life as your choice is not meant to pile on guilt or regret. To acknowledge your life as your choice actually brings incredible power and ownership. Owning your life and your situation means you can also change it - if that's what you want.

Obligations are usually illusions and based on fear. Necessities are usually narrow-minded thinking and small beliefs, also rooted in fear.

Our fear of doing something different, or believing there is a different way, prevents us from seeing alternate and greater possibilities.

I spent several years in denial about the life I had created for myself. I never would have been able to admit that I got myself here - to a marriage, family, and house filled with everything I thought would fulfill me, but did not. What had I done wrong?

Nothing - it's not about doing something wrong. Creating a life based on your choice and your desires means we might find ourself in a situation we don't want. But we are never stuck there. We always have a choice. We always have the possibility of change.

At the beginning of any new adventure, be it relationship, career, physical or mental health, it's impossible to see the possibilities and options that await. It's hard to see beyond where we are right now. Take a habit for example - if you wake up and do the same thing everyday, the same thing you have done for years and years, you can't imagine life without the habit. You can't imagine how you would change the pattern, or what would replace it. You can't imagine feeling happy or content with a new habit, one you have never even tried.

You also can't imagine the new, unexpected magic that happens when you allow yourself to change.

When I quit drinking, I could not see past the actual alcohol. I couldn't imagine parties, weddings, dinners, events, weekends or holidays. How would any of that be fun?

Over time, I learned all of life is fun without alcohol - I was only living in the illusion that the alcohol had anything to do with it. An example of a false belief. An example of an excuse based on fear.

In addition to my initial fears being completely wrong, I also misunderstood the other, more amazing people and opportunities that would fill my life once I got sober. I have friends I never would have had. I have friends I never knew I needed. I have strength I never knew I had. I have strength I never knew I needed. Things have come into my life that I never expected. My choice to stop drinking not only fixed an immediate problem, but brought so many new and exhilarating possibilities.

Most of the time, we are not victims like we think. Our excuses are not so valid. It is not up to anyone else to make the change for you. Your life is your choice. You can make a small change, take one step, in order to get closer to the life you want. As you move along, more will be revealed and you will discover new possibilities and options along the way.

Upon birth, if I had been given an instruction manual that showed multiple paths and where they would lead me, I definitely would have made different choices than I have. But we are not given a map with all the avenues - we don't see the end result until we begin to travel in that direction.

Maybe that's because we learn so much along the way. Maybe that's because part of what we learn is to trust ourselves when we do feel unsettled, or unfulfilled. When we own our life, we also get to advocate for it - for ourself. And that is the most powerful acknowledgement, because it means everything is changeable, and anything is possible.