Before Action, Stillness
How many times have you done something, made a quick decision, only to regret it later? How many times have you had to backtrack to make up for something you wish you hadn't done?
It's easy to react rather than be still. Being still is the hardest thing. I have trouble being still before a small action, or a large one. I didn't wait long before I made the decision to get a divorce. I don't regret my decision, but looking back, I remember how I felt pressure to decide immediately - as if the decision, ANY decision would bring me relief. Over several months, I made sure to really sit with my options. I meditated, I journaled, I reflected. I pondered my future. I asked God and my own heart.
If we are still, and in our body, we can tell if we are acting in alignment with our best interest.
When you sit still and let a choice wash over you, when you imagine your choice and feel it, your body will tell you if it's right. You'll feel comforted and relieved. You'll feel lighter. An unhealthy decision, or one based solely on fear, will conversely bring anxiety and agitation. You'll be able to "feel" that you are not at peace with your decision.
When I got divorced, I had time to make sure my decision brought me peace. Maybe that's why the law in Wisconsin is that you cannot be granted a divorce for a minimum of 4 months after you file. This makes sure you want it, and gives you time to change your mind.
With small decisions, it's harder to give ourselves the time to stop and pray - or stop and breathe, or stop and meditate.
We feel we have to act right away, because what we are actually interested in is not the decision, but the belief that by acting, we will alleviate our pain.
Stillness, before action, will bring clarity. And we are less likely to do something we regret.
We've all been in situations where we know we reacted so quickly and rashly, we barely remember doing it. We are so quick to remove ourselves from pain, we forget that we can wait. Nothing needs to be done right now - nothing. Advertising and social media play into this human trait all the time. That's why we see deals and banners that claim "don't miss it!" Advertising doesn't want us to sit still. Advertising wants us to pounce.
Think of your life this way - are you taking the time to sit still, or are you pouncing? Are you trying so hard to rid yourself of pain, you're behaving outside of everyone's best interests? Have you forgotten that part of releasing pain is sitting still and feeling it?
It is only in stillness that you will know what you need. Everything else is simply a way of disowning your pain and trying to make it go away. The sooner you become still, the sooner you will be given the answer. And you won't regret it.
