When I got sober, I had to make many tough choices. My recovery had to come first, and everything else took a back seat for the time being. I attempted to rid myself and my life of all things that caused undo stress. I simplified. I let things go. Life and my addiction forced me to focus on myself. At the same time, I was also getting divorced. I had to relearn my life as a single person, without a spouse, and this took time and practice.
Read MoreWe don't know what parenthood will look like until we bring a child home, and then do it. We don't know who we will be once a goal is reached, until we walk forward each day with the new accomplishment. We don't know exactly how we will feel once we are 20 pounds lighter.
Read MoreWe are constantly meeting edges in life. Yoga teaches us that the edge, the point of discomfort, unsure-ness, or fear, is an opportunity to be the observer. Instead of searching for a solution, we can be a witness, and acknowledge our feelings with compassion and curiosity.
Join me at the RISE yoga and writing retreat this February! 3 days of yoga and writing.
Read MoreThe New Year begs us to set intentions, reflect, and create resolutions. We embark on a new year as a chance to resolve issues from our past that have been holding us back. But before setting an intention, we must let go.
Read MoreThe image of my heart leading my body, or directing my life choices, has always intrigued me. Often it has felt like a fantasy or delusion - to think I can simply "follow my heart" and be directed to the right next thing.
Read MoreToday I was called into an interview for a part time job at the very facility my mother died in 22 years earlier. As I sat in the foyer waiting to be called to the interview I looked up at the glass dome I walked under for 2 weeks as I was preparing to say good-bye to my mother. When I got called into my interview, into a beautiful, clean, well decorated office, I sat at the conference table which looked out a window and beyond the window was the window I looked out of, from the room my mother was dying in, that many years ago.
Read MoreThe more we practice, the stronger we get. Poses become easier. Balance becomes attainable. Our emotional state is the same way - the more we practice honoring ourself, the easier life gets. No longer are we guilted into staying when our gut tells us to leave. No longer are we over-extended, when we know we need to back off.
Read MoreRecently I named this intention, I welcome in love and I wrote it down in my journal. I continued writing and followed the prompts and steps Julie has laid out in the labyrinth. Part of the process of naming an intention is also to look at beliefs and behaviors that have held you back or kept you stuck from receiving it.
Read MoreI have been on a spiritual quest for years, probably since my childhood when I craved silence inside old appliance boxes, or on the grassy hill by my home. I have been searching for meaning, for purpose, for joy, for unity with God, for self-acceptance far too long. I am now just realizing I have to stop the search!
Read MoreThe dullness of being sick, of needing to slow down, and of having a constantly foggy head makes it easy to forget myself. Being sick and not being able to do all the day-to-day things I am used to makes me realize how much I rely on the external activities to define me. The lack of busyness and productivity make me feel unlike myself, and honestly, kind of worthless.
Read MoreWhen the days are shorter and darker, we can force ourselves outside of our comfort zones - and outside the house. We can make healthy choices, even when we resist anything good for us. Everything feels harder right now - which means choosing something healthy is very necessary. Coming to my yoga mat, doing any form of exercise, going for a walk outside, taking the time to make and enjoy a meal, calling a good friend... all of these feel much more difficult when it's black at 5pm.
Read MoreI believe in the magic of nature. I believe in all the lessons we can glean from trees that endure weather and society and time. I believe if we lean on nature, like I leaned on this tree, we not only remember who we are, we receive the answers we need in order to keep going. We remember that we ARE the tree - the roots, the earth, the branches, and wind between the leaves. We remember that like the tree, we can stand tall, no matter what threatens to shake us or make us snap. We remember that nature holds secrets we have forgotten.
Read MoreThe risk is worth it. We will not break open to the point of no return. Some of these past scars are begging to be healed. And to do so, requires a brave, open heart. I'm not saying to dive into the deep end with no regard for yourself. Chiseling down walls that we've necessarily built up over time as a means to survival needs to be done slowly, and with a compassionate understanding of Self. Start by forgiving yourself. Start with self-love. Start by looking in the mirror, and reminding yourself that you are loved, that you are brave, and that you CAN do this.
Read MoreThe problem with our expectations is they rarely live up to what we imagine. Whether they are our own, society's, or someone else's, we hardly ever meet them. It took my life falling apart for me to understand that the expectations I held onto were also the cage I kept myself in. I tried for so long to keep propping things up and pasting things back together - my marriage, my addiction, my inner feelings and desires. I felt if I just kept the image of meeting the expectation going, then I would feel better. And no one would think I had failed.
Read MoreA painful past can keep us stuck, and can feed our story that we are undeserving, or that the other shoe will drop. Holding onto the story is only hurting us, and keeping us from love.
Read MoreIt's easy to react rather than be still. Being still is the hardest thing. I have trouble being still before a small action, or a large one. I didn't wait long before I made the decision to get a divorce. I don't regret my decision, but looking back, I remember how I felt pressure to decide immediately - as if the decision, ANY decision would bring me relief. Over several months, I made sure to really sit with my options. I meditated, I journaled, I reflected. I pondered my future. I asked God and my own heart.
Read MoreHave you noticed that before you fall there is a moment of flight? When you trip, you first lurch upward, before falling down. A petal stays suspended momentarily in air, after it drops from the flower and before it lands on the earth. There is an uncomfortable pause at the top of the inhale, and a tightness at the bottom of the exhale, before the next breath arrives.
Read MoreOut of a need for approval, or acceptance, did we pursue someone else's longings instead of our own? Did we mistake our sense of belonging for what someone else wanted from us instead of what WE wanted from ourself?
We all want to belong. And we falsely think if we are like everyone else, if we do what they do, then we will belong. We mistake belonging for fitting-in and sameness.
